This blog is just a place for me to spout my random thoughts, and (not infrequent) rants. Why should my thoughts and opinions matter to you? I'll leave that for you to decide!
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Global Warming
This has been bothering me for a while.
There are 2 major things that worry me about Anthropogenic Global Warming. First, we are worried about the consensus of scientists (and those falsely so called) more than the facts. A consensus of scientists believed that we lived in a geocentric universe, that the world was flat, and that it was a good idea to bleed a sick individual. So much for the consensus. Show me facts and hard data. I don't care what "the majority" thinks. Second, Anthropogenic Global Warming is a plastic theory. No matter what the data indicates, it's proponents can twist the interpretation of them to "prove" their theory. This is the definition of bad science. A true theory needs to be expressed in such a way that it can be proved or disproved. When that key element is overlooked, the theory looses all it's value because it is impossible to test.
I understand the global warming argument about colder than average years is that it's supposed to be the average temperature is increasing, but that we may actually see dips every once in a while. In light of that, it seems that a useful statistic to check would be the record highs. You would think that we would see an increase in the number of record highs set in a decade if the average temperature is increasing. Surprisingly, most of the records were set in the late nineteenth century, or early twentieth. On average, we see between 2 and 4 records broken each decade. Except for the last one. In this past decade (actually a couple years over a decade, but who's counting) we have seen exactly 0 high temperature marks set. Odd. Does this count as an inconvenient truth?
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Death of a Medium
I've been meaning to write this post for a while. It is a bit of a divergence from my previous topics, but since I haven't really defined my blog as anything other than a soapbox for me to speak from, I guess that really doesn't matter!
I'm sure by now, you've all heard that Borders is going out of business. I know some have been waxing nostalgic about this, and bemoaning the fact that we have lost a great source for books, but I don't buy it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a bigger bibliophile than most. I love to read. I love to get lost in the depths of a great book. I love wandering through used book stores and finding buried treasure. The reason I don't feel sympathetic or nostalgic for Borders is because they tried to do business in a rapidly evolving industry, they were reluctant to embrace change (i.e. ebooks) and they simply made bad business decisions. I do respect them for not playing the "We're too big to fail" card and seeking government subsidies to stay in business. They played in the free market and they lost.
However, this post isn't about the Death of a Business.When I went to Borders for (likely) the last time a couple weeks ago, I was looking for some deals. I admit it. I was a materialistic vulture just like everyone else who was swarming the store. If we had shown a modicum of that same level of support to the store on a regular basis, it would not be circling the drain as I type. But as I perused the shelves, it became apparent to me why Borders had passed, and why all brick and mortar bookstores stand on the razor's edge of a similar precipice. There's one reason, and it's not ebooks. Amazon.com. Plain and simple. I can go to one website, find every item in that store, and find it for cheaper than they could dream of selling it, even going out of business. I have gazed into the future, and there are no bookstores. Used bookstores, yes. Places to go and buy new books and overpriced CD's? No. Enjoy them while you can. Take videos of your visit so you can show your kids, or at most, grandkids what it used to be like to buy books.
I apologize. I still have not made it to my point. As I said, this isn't about the Death of a Business Model. What do I mean by Death of a Medium? Simply, that as I was standing in Borders, I found a book I've been looking forward to. I had recently discovered Patrick Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind, and was eagerly looking forward to reading the second installment, The Wise Man's Fear. I eagerly scanned down the aisle. After a little perusal, I saw it. They still had stock! I swooped in for the kill, grabbing the book, flipping it over to see the price tag. Ouch. It's okay though, the sign says it's 25% off. Some quick calculations, and I realize, it's probably better than I could do on Amazon, or at least almost as good, but I don't have to pay shipping, and I have it in hand today. As I'm weighing these thoughts in my mind, holding the book, I can't help but notice that at 1008 pages, bound in hardcover, this book is rather heavy (shipping weight of 3lbs according to Amazon). It's also quite thick, meaning it's going to take up some serious shelf space at home, which is at a bit of a premium these days. The thing that killed it for me, though, was the fact that I could walk out of the store, pick up my iPad, and order the same book from the iBook store, and have it in hand in seconds. It wouldn't add any weight to my iPad, which at 1.5lbs is only half the weight of the book. It's not going to take up extra room in my house. I don't have to worry about pages getting ripped, torn or stained. And the kicker - it's still cheaper than the bargain basement, going out of business sale price of it's paper cousin. The arrival of convenient ebook readers, such as tablets, kindles, and others of that ilk are the extinction event that has marked the demise of the paper book. The market is rapidly heading that direction, and the benefits are beginning to seriously outweigh the disadvantages.
I know there are many who are resistant to this idea, and claim that they really enjoy holding that book in their hands. They like the tactile sensation of turning the pages. For me, it's more of a visual thing. I thought it would be tactile as well, but I have found that those apps on the iPad that appear to turn a page as I swipe my finger are nearly every bit as satisfying as holding the book. Besides which, I don't need to worry about loosing my place. I also love the ability to be able to select a word and look it up in the dictionary with a simple tap of my finger. It has significantly improved my reading experience, especially when it comes to the classics.
There are some items we need to get cleared up and sorted before people as a whole will be ready to take the plunge.
I'm sure by now, you've all heard that Borders is going out of business. I know some have been waxing nostalgic about this, and bemoaning the fact that we have lost a great source for books, but I don't buy it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a bigger bibliophile than most. I love to read. I love to get lost in the depths of a great book. I love wandering through used book stores and finding buried treasure. The reason I don't feel sympathetic or nostalgic for Borders is because they tried to do business in a rapidly evolving industry, they were reluctant to embrace change (i.e. ebooks) and they simply made bad business decisions. I do respect them for not playing the "We're too big to fail" card and seeking government subsidies to stay in business. They played in the free market and they lost.
However, this post isn't about the Death of a Business.When I went to Borders for (likely) the last time a couple weeks ago, I was looking for some deals. I admit it. I was a materialistic vulture just like everyone else who was swarming the store. If we had shown a modicum of that same level of support to the store on a regular basis, it would not be circling the drain as I type. But as I perused the shelves, it became apparent to me why Borders had passed, and why all brick and mortar bookstores stand on the razor's edge of a similar precipice. There's one reason, and it's not ebooks. Amazon.com. Plain and simple. I can go to one website, find every item in that store, and find it for cheaper than they could dream of selling it, even going out of business. I have gazed into the future, and there are no bookstores. Used bookstores, yes. Places to go and buy new books and overpriced CD's? No. Enjoy them while you can. Take videos of your visit so you can show your kids, or at most, grandkids what it used to be like to buy books.
I apologize. I still have not made it to my point. As I said, this isn't about the Death of a Business Model. What do I mean by Death of a Medium? Simply, that as I was standing in Borders, I found a book I've been looking forward to. I had recently discovered Patrick Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind, and was eagerly looking forward to reading the second installment, The Wise Man's Fear. I eagerly scanned down the aisle. After a little perusal, I saw it. They still had stock! I swooped in for the kill, grabbing the book, flipping it over to see the price tag. Ouch. It's okay though, the sign says it's 25% off. Some quick calculations, and I realize, it's probably better than I could do on Amazon, or at least almost as good, but I don't have to pay shipping, and I have it in hand today. As I'm weighing these thoughts in my mind, holding the book, I can't help but notice that at 1008 pages, bound in hardcover, this book is rather heavy (shipping weight of 3lbs according to Amazon). It's also quite thick, meaning it's going to take up some serious shelf space at home, which is at a bit of a premium these days. The thing that killed it for me, though, was the fact that I could walk out of the store, pick up my iPad, and order the same book from the iBook store, and have it in hand in seconds. It wouldn't add any weight to my iPad, which at 1.5lbs is only half the weight of the book. It's not going to take up extra room in my house. I don't have to worry about pages getting ripped, torn or stained. And the kicker - it's still cheaper than the bargain basement, going out of business sale price of it's paper cousin. The arrival of convenient ebook readers, such as tablets, kindles, and others of that ilk are the extinction event that has marked the demise of the paper book. The market is rapidly heading that direction, and the benefits are beginning to seriously outweigh the disadvantages.
I know there are many who are resistant to this idea, and claim that they really enjoy holding that book in their hands. They like the tactile sensation of turning the pages. For me, it's more of a visual thing. I thought it would be tactile as well, but I have found that those apps on the iPad that appear to turn a page as I swipe my finger are nearly every bit as satisfying as holding the book. Besides which, I don't need to worry about loosing my place. I also love the ability to be able to select a word and look it up in the dictionary with a simple tap of my finger. It has significantly improved my reading experience, especially when it comes to the classics.
There are some items we need to get cleared up and sorted before people as a whole will be ready to take the plunge.
- We will need digital bookshelves. I don't want my books tied only available through my login to the store's website. I want a centralized location that I can store all my books regardless of where they have been purchased.
- Cross Platform compatibility and availability. I don't want to loose my library just because I decide to replace my iPad with a different tablet. I want to be able to go to my bookshelf using any device and read any of my books. I also want to be able to read them in any app I choose. I tend to like the visual features available in iBooks, as well as the lookup and notation options, however I'm not a fan of Apple's Draconian policies when it comes to what I can put onto my device. I also can not in good conscience stand idly by and watch as Apple robs authors and publishers by demanding a 30% cut.
- Pricing. I shouldn't have to pay more for a digital book than I have to pay for one that is physically produced. I can understand paying the same price as a paperback for a digital book but only when it is new and hot off the presses
- Ability to lend books. This to me is one of the most important items on this list. I should be able to authorize someone else to temporarily use my copy of a book. I would fully expect that my access to that book would be locked out while it was on loan, but I should be able to lend it out to whomever, whenever I want to, for however long I want to let them have it. I should also be able to have a reclaim button that allows me to decide when their time is up and lets me have the rights to the book again.
These are my thoughts on the issue. What do you think? Are we witnessing the death of not only a business model, but also a medium?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Freedom of Speech Redux
In my last post, I discussed the Freedom of Speech, and if states should be bound by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. The incident that sparked the discussion was the debate whether "truck nuts" are protected by free speech.
On the one hand, we have a tasteless and vulgar display that some states have chosen to outlaw. When they try to enforce their laws, there is public outcry, claiming censorship and infringement of First Amendment rights, even though the First Amendment was originally never supposed to apply to states, and was initially intended to ensure that individuals could disagree, vocally, with government without fear of retribution.

On the other hand, we have a store that is selling a politically charged gag item that an individual found offensive. In response to the displeasure, the store pulled the mints. Two similar situations, two very different outcomes. In both cases an item was on display that was offensive. In the first case, it was actually illegal (or could be interpreted to be illegal) under state law. Regardless of legality, it was clearly tasteless and vulgar, and not really the type of expression intended for protection under the First Amendment. (Don't get me wrong, even though I personally find this display to be tasteless and vulgar, when I say it is not the type of expression intended for protection under the First Amendment, I don't mean that it shouldn't be protected on a Federal level.) This case receives attention as an infringement of First Amendment rights.
In the second case, it was an admittedly tasteless, albeit perfectly legal display that expressed displeasure with the government. The kind of speech that the First Amendment was actually intended to protect.
On the one hand, we have a tasteless and vulgar display that some states have chosen to outlaw. When they try to enforce their laws, there is public outcry, claiming censorship and infringement of First Amendment rights, even though the First Amendment was originally never supposed to apply to states, and was initially intended to ensure that individuals could disagree, vocally, with government without fear of retribution.

On the other hand, we have a store that is selling a politically charged gag item that an individual found offensive. In response to the displeasure, the store pulled the mints. Two similar situations, two very different outcomes. In both cases an item was on display that was offensive. In the first case, it was actually illegal (or could be interpreted to be illegal) under state law. Regardless of legality, it was clearly tasteless and vulgar, and not really the type of expression intended for protection under the First Amendment. (Don't get me wrong, even though I personally find this display to be tasteless and vulgar, when I say it is not the type of expression intended for protection under the First Amendment, I don't mean that it shouldn't be protected on a Federal level.) This case receives attention as an infringement of First Amendment rights.
In the second case, it was an admittedly tasteless, albeit perfectly legal display that expressed displeasure with the government. The kind of speech that the First Amendment was actually intended to protect.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Freedom of Speech
Have you seen this? Truck Nuts Free Speech Debate
First off, let me say, I'm sure the Founding Fathers are rolling over in their graves right now, to think that we would be using the freedoms they fought and died for to display plastic animal genitalia on our vehicles. The freedom of speech they were referring to was the ability for a person to speak their mind and express an opinion that was diametrically opposed to the government's view with no fear of retribution from said government.
We see subtle examples every day of our true freedom of speech being eroded, such as when high ranking government officials refer to their opponents as terrorists merely for disagreeing with them. To his credit, Mr. Biden reportedly has backed off his supposed comments, however the fact remains that this situation is much closer to the type of speech that the Founding Fathers sought to protect.
But I digress. Back to the question at hand, which is, 'Does the First Amendment allow people to hang vulgar and tasteless ornamentation from the back of their vehicle?' The short answer is yes. The Federal Government is prohibited by the First Amendment from punishing or penalizing us for the simple act of expression. However, the caveat here is that the First Amendment applies to the Federal Government. Washington can't outlaw it. The Constitution and the Bill of Rights were meant to define and limit the Federal Government, not the individual states. States were initially envisioned to have much greater rights and responsibilities. The reason for this is that if the majority of the duties of government are carried out on a state level, it will require greater participation by those being governed. It may be less efficient, but it demands that people remain involved in the majority of the decisions made by their government. It requires the general population to be engaged and aware of what is going on. It makes it much more difficult for a smooth talker to weasel their way into office, and if they do make it in, an engaged populace will quickly pick up on the inconsistencies and call them to task.
Unfortunately, an unintended consequence of the 14th Amendment is incorporation. Incorporation is the slow erosion of states' rights under the guise of the protection of individual's rights. However, rather than protecting individual's rights, it merely results in increased bloat of the Federal Government. As a result, we are left with states that should have the right to decide what they want to allow by way of tasteless and vulgar speech, but instead find their hands tied by restrictions that were never intended to be applied to them.
Does the First Amendment protect truck nuts? Not as originally intended, but as our government has slowly infiltrated our lives over the years, it now does. Pause with me and morn the passing of states' rights.
Let me close with a moment of silence now for good taste and common sense.
First off, let me say, I'm sure the Founding Fathers are rolling over in their graves right now, to think that we would be using the freedoms they fought and died for to display plastic animal genitalia on our vehicles. The freedom of speech they were referring to was the ability for a person to speak their mind and express an opinion that was diametrically opposed to the government's view with no fear of retribution from said government.
We see subtle examples every day of our true freedom of speech being eroded, such as when high ranking government officials refer to their opponents as terrorists merely for disagreeing with them. To his credit, Mr. Biden reportedly has backed off his supposed comments, however the fact remains that this situation is much closer to the type of speech that the Founding Fathers sought to protect.
But I digress. Back to the question at hand, which is, 'Does the First Amendment allow people to hang vulgar and tasteless ornamentation from the back of their vehicle?' The short answer is yes. The Federal Government is prohibited by the First Amendment from punishing or penalizing us for the simple act of expression. However, the caveat here is that the First Amendment applies to the Federal Government. Washington can't outlaw it. The Constitution and the Bill of Rights were meant to define and limit the Federal Government, not the individual states. States were initially envisioned to have much greater rights and responsibilities. The reason for this is that if the majority of the duties of government are carried out on a state level, it will require greater participation by those being governed. It may be less efficient, but it demands that people remain involved in the majority of the decisions made by their government. It requires the general population to be engaged and aware of what is going on. It makes it much more difficult for a smooth talker to weasel their way into office, and if they do make it in, an engaged populace will quickly pick up on the inconsistencies and call them to task.
Unfortunately, an unintended consequence of the 14th Amendment is incorporation. Incorporation is the slow erosion of states' rights under the guise of the protection of individual's rights. However, rather than protecting individual's rights, it merely results in increased bloat of the Federal Government. As a result, we are left with states that should have the right to decide what they want to allow by way of tasteless and vulgar speech, but instead find their hands tied by restrictions that were never intended to be applied to them.
Does the First Amendment protect truck nuts? Not as originally intended, but as our government has slowly infiltrated our lives over the years, it now does. Pause with me and morn the passing of states' rights.
Let me close with a moment of silence now for good taste and common sense.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Open letter to Congress - 7/26/2011
July 26, 2011
Dear Congress,
I am being asked by the President to
contact you with my input on how we should proceed with the debt
ceiling increase.
Unfortunately for the President, I feel
he is totally out of touch with the American people. His policies
have been shown to be failures. At some point, he needs to take
responsibility for the mess he has made of this economy, own up to
his mistakes, and knuckle down to the unsavory task of balancing the
budget. It may be that the previous administration left him in a less
than ideal situation, however without exception, every move he has
made since taking office has only succeeded in driving us further
into debt and crushing any glimmers of economic recovery that we have
seen.
As members of Congress and elected
officials with the sworn duty of representing the will of the people,
I implore you to stand the line. Do not give in to Presidential and
media pressure. Remain steadfast in your demand that we do not
increase taxes and that we reduce spending. I understand that the
cuts are going to be unpalatable and difficult. I also understand
that when your finances are in this deplorable state, it becomes
necessary to remove anything that is not absolutely essential. What
expenses can we eliminate without affecting our ability to function
as a nation? Remove them. Take our budget to the bare bones. If it is
a non-essential expense, cut it. Unfortunately for you, this means
things like your paychecks. It is going to hurt. I am aware of this.
I would rather make painful cuts and see my nation rise again to a
position of greatness than watch our economy of entitlements and
deficit spending slowly smother us.
One area we absolutely can not cut is
defense spending. We are in the middle of a couple wars. We MUST
protect our soldiers on the ground. We can, and must, eliminate the
red tape and bureaucratic expenses, and attack the wastefulness that
is associated with military spending, however we need to make sure it
is not at the expense of our troops, or of our military might. In an
era when we see greater unrest across the globe, in the form of
terror attacks and rising anti-American sentiment, we need to
consolidate our position as the greatest superpower on the planet.
We also need to provide incentives for
companies to bring their jobs to our shores, rather than raising
taxes and driving them away. Increase our manufacturing. Make it
palatable for industry to do business here. Make us once again
captains of industry, rather than a nation of middle managing
bureaucrats.
Please be aware, the American people
have awoken from our apathy and are closely watching the decisions
you make. We are not deceived by lies – either yours or the media.
We are looking for you to rise up as leaders. If you are not up to
the task, you will be replaced by those who are. Do not take us
lightly. We may have been apathetic in the past, but no longer. Your
behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Rise up as
leaders, or pack up your things. Washington is going to change, even
if We the People have to drag you kicking and screaming into the
future.
Sincerely,
Your Constituents
(For those of you subjected to a public
education, that means your Bosses)
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Charge of the Light Brigade Remembered.
We thought we had won. The victory seemed complete. Our enemy had attacked, but our defenses held. After the attack, we had cleaned up the battle field, and the damage seemed minimal and easily repaired. If only we had known they weren't finished. They weren't lying in defeat, ineffectual. They were lying in wait, ready to pounce.
After work Thursday and Friday, I spent a little while shoveling the driveway and our walkways. Saturday I finished the walkway. After I had finished, I surveyed my work and thought, "Ahh, another winter storm cleaned up after. The shoveling is finished, and the roof doesn't look bad. I won't have to deal with it until the next storm." Later Saturday, we went out to do some shopping. As we were leaving, It pounced. The snow started coming. What we had thought was the main body turned out to be a vanguard, the scouts and light infantry. This storm brought the heavy armor. They sneaked past our lookouts, with the Weather Channel claiming that it was just another winter storm, 4-6" of accumulation, unless you lived by the coast. They were going to get the main assault, not us. We continued on our trip, arrogant in our ignorance. Suddenly the storm changed. The main body of freezing rain and wet heavy snow, instead of proceeding south, as expected, charged north, hoping to catch us unawares. We bravely battled along treacherous roads, fighting, struggling, to stay on the road. There were casualties. Others who didn't realize their peril and misjudged an innocuous turn. Thankfully, in those cases, the snow's strategy worked against it. While it did cause an accident, major damage was prevented by the sheer size of the previous army that had come through, and the drifts they had created.
Arriving at home safely, we again assumed that we had parried the attack. It seemed that the insidious ploy to sneak past our defenses and barrage us with an unexpected assault of ice had failed. It did create some minor delays, but nothing significant. Sunday morning, as I surveyed the damage done, I didn't think it was significant. How was I to know my enemy was not finished, only waiting? The sun was out, it was a beautiful day. The snow had attacked and failed. Sure, there was an inch or two to deal with in the pathways, but nothing significant. We went to church happy. In our absence, it struck again, with a concerted three prong approach.
The very sun that had seemed like a herald of our victory turned out to be a double agent, working for the enemy. Its warmth caused the snow's numbers to shrink. This may seem like it was on our side but the truth has been discovered. The shrinking snow wasn't defeated. It was merely reforming into a denser battalion. Where it had been light, it became heavy. Where it had been packed, it became solid. Even still, the sun's evil attack had only just begun. As the snow on my roof continued to shift its formations, bringing its troops into ever denser ranks, the sun continued its work. I'm sure it started slowly at first. A few drips running down the roof, acting as scouts to find the unguarded locations. In retrospect, I saw these very harbingers of doom, and discounted them as meaningless drips of water. Further proof that the storm had been vanquished. Ah, my blind ignorance. You see, these scouts were merely preparing the way. Soon there were more. Eventually, the snow on the roof shifted, slightly. The restraining walls of ice on the eaves gave way, opening the way for the entire mass to come down in one continuous sheet. While I wasn't there to see the attack, the aftermath was disturbing because of its sheer magnitude. My driveway was buried. My car virtually disappeared. The door to my house could open, but it was touch and go for a bit. The walkway down the side of the driveway was obliterated as if it had never been.
Upon my return, I witnessed the destruction that had been visited on my shoveling. I attacked with a vengeance. The snow resisted valiantly, but it was no match. It wore me down and exhausted me, but I pressed on. After reclaiming the territory I had lost so gruesomely, I resolved to take the fight to the snow. I got my ladder, and assaulted the high ground of my roof. The snow had grown lax, never suspecting I would bring the fight to it. I attacked like a Viking beserker, granting no quarter. I'm not proud of what I became, but I am proud of what I accomplished. At one point, as I was nearly finished with my assault, the snow, trying to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, launched an all out final assault. It charged with its entire reserve army it had held in reserve on the steeper portion of my back roof. However, such an attack is not a quiet thing. The approaching horde warned me by their very battle cries that were meant to intimidate. I stood in the face of the onslaught, and laughed. Some say my sanity fled at that point, when faced with the prospect of having to redo all the work I had just done, but We know better. We knew that they had left nothing in reserve, and that now our victory was assured. We assaulted the invading horde with a vengeance, and after throwing them down, we attacked their fortifications of ice. It pains me to admit that at sometime during this assault, my longtime companion and friend, my snowshovel, perished. In my rage and bloodlust, I didn't stop to mourn the passing of my friend. I threw half his broken body off the roof, but continued to use him to attack.
If only the battle had ended there. The losses were high, but it would have been seen as a victory still, I think. However, in my arrogance, I resupplied, seeking to remove the last vestiges of the snow's assault. As I was requisitioning a replacement shovel at Walmart, the snow began its most devious plan yet. It signaled the sun to retreat. It quietly slipped away, taking its light and warmth with it. When I got back, the seemingly paltry defenses of the remaining snow proved to be nearly impenetrable, even with my new shovel. And so I concede the battle. It was costly for both sides, but the snow finally wore me down with its seemingly endless resupply. The war is yet to be decided, but this battle goes to the snow.
Well fought.
After work Thursday and Friday, I spent a little while shoveling the driveway and our walkways. Saturday I finished the walkway. After I had finished, I surveyed my work and thought, "Ahh, another winter storm cleaned up after. The shoveling is finished, and the roof doesn't look bad. I won't have to deal with it until the next storm." Later Saturday, we went out to do some shopping. As we were leaving, It pounced. The snow started coming. What we had thought was the main body turned out to be a vanguard, the scouts and light infantry. This storm brought the heavy armor. They sneaked past our lookouts, with the Weather Channel claiming that it was just another winter storm, 4-6" of accumulation, unless you lived by the coast. They were going to get the main assault, not us. We continued on our trip, arrogant in our ignorance. Suddenly the storm changed. The main body of freezing rain and wet heavy snow, instead of proceeding south, as expected, charged north, hoping to catch us unawares. We bravely battled along treacherous roads, fighting, struggling, to stay on the road. There were casualties. Others who didn't realize their peril and misjudged an innocuous turn. Thankfully, in those cases, the snow's strategy worked against it. While it did cause an accident, major damage was prevented by the sheer size of the previous army that had come through, and the drifts they had created.
Arriving at home safely, we again assumed that we had parried the attack. It seemed that the insidious ploy to sneak past our defenses and barrage us with an unexpected assault of ice had failed. It did create some minor delays, but nothing significant. Sunday morning, as I surveyed the damage done, I didn't think it was significant. How was I to know my enemy was not finished, only waiting? The sun was out, it was a beautiful day. The snow had attacked and failed. Sure, there was an inch or two to deal with in the pathways, but nothing significant. We went to church happy. In our absence, it struck again, with a concerted three prong approach.
The very sun that had seemed like a herald of our victory turned out to be a double agent, working for the enemy. Its warmth caused the snow's numbers to shrink. This may seem like it was on our side but the truth has been discovered. The shrinking snow wasn't defeated. It was merely reforming into a denser battalion. Where it had been light, it became heavy. Where it had been packed, it became solid. Even still, the sun's evil attack had only just begun. As the snow on my roof continued to shift its formations, bringing its troops into ever denser ranks, the sun continued its work. I'm sure it started slowly at first. A few drips running down the roof, acting as scouts to find the unguarded locations. In retrospect, I saw these very harbingers of doom, and discounted them as meaningless drips of water. Further proof that the storm had been vanquished. Ah, my blind ignorance. You see, these scouts were merely preparing the way. Soon there were more. Eventually, the snow on the roof shifted, slightly. The restraining walls of ice on the eaves gave way, opening the way for the entire mass to come down in one continuous sheet. While I wasn't there to see the attack, the aftermath was disturbing because of its sheer magnitude. My driveway was buried. My car virtually disappeared. The door to my house could open, but it was touch and go for a bit. The walkway down the side of the driveway was obliterated as if it had never been.
Upon my return, I witnessed the destruction that had been visited on my shoveling. I attacked with a vengeance. The snow resisted valiantly, but it was no match. It wore me down and exhausted me, but I pressed on. After reclaiming the territory I had lost so gruesomely, I resolved to take the fight to the snow. I got my ladder, and assaulted the high ground of my roof. The snow had grown lax, never suspecting I would bring the fight to it. I attacked like a Viking beserker, granting no quarter. I'm not proud of what I became, but I am proud of what I accomplished. At one point, as I was nearly finished with my assault, the snow, trying to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, launched an all out final assault. It charged with its entire reserve army it had held in reserve on the steeper portion of my back roof. However, such an attack is not a quiet thing. The approaching horde warned me by their very battle cries that were meant to intimidate. I stood in the face of the onslaught, and laughed. Some say my sanity fled at that point, when faced with the prospect of having to redo all the work I had just done, but We know better. We knew that they had left nothing in reserve, and that now our victory was assured. We assaulted the invading horde with a vengeance, and after throwing them down, we attacked their fortifications of ice. It pains me to admit that at sometime during this assault, my longtime companion and friend, my snowshovel, perished. In my rage and bloodlust, I didn't stop to mourn the passing of my friend. I threw half his broken body off the roof, but continued to use him to attack.
If only the battle had ended there. The losses were high, but it would have been seen as a victory still, I think. However, in my arrogance, I resupplied, seeking to remove the last vestiges of the snow's assault. As I was requisitioning a replacement shovel at Walmart, the snow began its most devious plan yet. It signaled the sun to retreat. It quietly slipped away, taking its light and warmth with it. When I got back, the seemingly paltry defenses of the remaining snow proved to be nearly impenetrable, even with my new shovel. And so I concede the battle. It was costly for both sides, but the snow finally wore me down with its seemingly endless resupply. The war is yet to be decided, but this battle goes to the snow.
Well fought.
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